Pumpkin Patch and The Inevitable...... WORK

Hey folks,

Again I've been trying to find the time and the right mind frame to be in to sit and type some wonderfully humerous blog, however, I'm limited on both subjects. Trying to eat dinner, catch up on Modern Family, and type a new blog update so please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. From the top:

Two weeks ago we ventured out with my family to the ole' Pumpkin Patch. We tried a new site this year, Pumkins Galore in Foristell and was very pleased with the outcome. Once again I took several adorable pic's so I'm leaving the link for any viewers, and below are the highlights. Little Samuel slept through just about the whole entire day. I guess the children playing and sound of the Bluegrass tunes in the background were the perfect mixture of a sweet lullaby. J took his first pony ride which he loved and Ky and Chloe did all they could to squeeze in every activity before the end of the day.
http://www2.snapfish.com/snapfish/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=5785432013/a=91451742/

Sleepy baby

Grandma and Grandkids

Jamie, Sis, and fam

Then there was the dreaded return to work. Those closest to me know that I may have.....ok I totally had a mental breakdown that began Wednesday morning and continued through the Friday morning drop off. As I sat in the parking lot I wiped the tears from my face, took a deep breath, and begin the walk to our front entrance. I stepped into the lobby was hit with the familiar smell that often reminds me of my dentist office. Then turned the corner and was immediatly hit with the flourescent lighting that leads me to the cube farm where I spend a disturbing amount of my life. Still managing to hold myself together it took one look from my coworker (who I refer to as "work-mom") to turn on the waterworks. At this point I wasn't sure how I was going to manage. So after telling a few stories of how proud I am of my little boy I begin digging into my emails which seemed to quickly take my mind off the situation. The next thing I know it was 11:00 and almost time for lunch. I of course call "Miss Val" ( and continue to do so every day) to check on my little man. Once she assures me that he is doing well I can go on about my business and before you know it the work day is over. I chose to go back on a Friday which was probably the best decision I've made since Sam was born. Now that I have Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday under my belt I am confident that I have made the right choice in being a working mom. I never thought I'd say it, but I've learned I just do not fit the bill of a stay at home mommy. Some may think that's selfish and others selfless, all I know is that it works for me. So now the challenge will be to try and find the time to update blogs and capture every little moment of Sammy B but a few more weeks and I should have this down pat.

Operation: "Night Cap"

We're two days away from my return to work and sleep is still a major concern (or lack there of). So I turned my my trusty book "What To Expect The First Year". In the section on sleep it talks about putting your baby down for the night when they are ready and then waking them up when you turn in for the night for a light feeding or a "nightcap" to get them to sleep longer. It goes on about not jumping to wake them at their first whimper, shushing, and rubbing their backs to fall asleep, etc. So I choose this as my plan of attack. Last night was the second night and let me tell you, it is AWFUL and still not making a difference. If anything, it's gotten worse.

Sam chooses to go to sleep between 7-8pm. I put him down, and wake him up at 10 when I got to bed. He doesn't even open his eyes but I can succesfully get him to take 3 ounces thinking this should buy be at least 2 more hours of sleep.
Day 1- up at 12:30. Shushed him to sleep within 2or3 minutes. Back up at 12:35, more shushing and asleep at 12:45. This lasted all the way until 2:30 am at which I woke up and gave him a bottle. Then up at 4:00am when I brought him in bed with me, then 6:30 and 8:30.

Day 2-On top of all this fun I am having major anxiety about my return to work and having trouble falling asleep. Lastnight it was 12am and I was still tossing and turning know that he would be up soon and getting angry with myself that I am loosing precious hours of sleep. Then at 12:15 he's up. Between the hours of 12:25 and 1:30 I went in his room 5 times to get him back to sleep but he would wake up each time. By 1:30, having not gone to sleep yet, I thought I may rip my hair out and decided to give him a bottle. Fed and back to sleep. Then up at 3:30 and I asked Brant to please get up with him so I could try to get some sleep. He fed and changed him and the little fart was still awake an hour later. Brant finally got him to sleep around 5am. Back up at 6 and I brought him into bed with me again and was able to sleep until 8:30 this morning. So I got about 5 hours of sleep collectively that was sprinkled among my night of fun!

Now the trouble is deciding whether or not I even attempt this again tonight or not. It's making us all miserable! We need help from a professional I think. He slept at my mom's house from 9pm to 4:30am and I still can't figure out how she did it. Where do people get these babies that are sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and why can't mine?????????????

"What If"

Hello peop's. So on a more serious note I was passed along this wonderful video and felt compelled to share this with my friends to support raising awareness of infertility. Brant and I were obviously blessed with our little boy finally, thanks to Dr. Ahlering and the staff at the Sher Insittute.  It was a very long road and challenging chapter in our lives. Brant was nothing but an excellent and supportive husband; along with many of my closest friends and family.

This video is just a quick bit on where women are during this struggle, and unfortunatly this battle is much more common then most think. I've personally spent 4 1/2 years of my life with this group and it's not easy. In opening up about our procedure I've learned just how many others are faced with the same challenge. So enough with the babbling and on with the show.


What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

10 Weeks

I'm beginning to actually to relate to Michael Jackson when he held his son over the balcony for the papparazzi to admire and take photos. I've never been so proud of something before in my entire life that I would like to share with the whole entire world. Why wouldn't every person on the face of this planet want to see him right? I've recorded him sleeping, pooping, farting, puking, screaming, bouncing, cooing; pretty much done every thing but recreate the movie Lion King and hold him up on top of a mountain for the whole kingdom to see. Michael sort of did the real world version of that. You sort of get caught up in their cuteness and loose touch of what an idiot you may look like or sound like. So maybe he wasn't really such a bad guy after all. He was just a very proud papa (who liked to have a lot of plastic surgery and wear makeup and talk like a female, and let little kids sleep in his bed, but that's a whole other topic).

Little Samsonite is doing well and getting bigger and changing every day. His sleeping on the other hand seems to be regressing in the opposite direction. Somehow we went to sleeping for a 5 or 6 hour block back to 4.5, then 4, and last night 3. What the hell happened! I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but with work literally just around the corner we'll be spending the next week or so doing some serious homework on this subject and trying to get a handle on it.

I myself and having trouble sleeping with the anxiety of going back to work staring me in the face. I actually have dreams at night of finding another profession that would allow me to work and stay at home with "Tons of Fun". For now we're going to give it a whirl. Not much else to blog about now. Really I'm just very sleep deprived and do not feel like thinking of anything funny to write about.

Back to the videos, here's a little clip of Sam's favorite lullaby. Post requested by Papa. This is an oldie but a goodie. A favorite shared by my bestie, Andi, and I since highschool; "Smile" by Jimmy Duranti:


 Baby Einstein Rocks!